Fight Depression – Maintain Well-Being
I often ask myself “Why do I feel so down?” “Why am I anxious?” “Fear… can I control it?” “Why me?”
I wish I had the answer but I don’t, truth is I have been struggling with this since the age of 41… I fight depression … okay I hear you … how old am I now? 50 – I hit the big 50 in March. It didn’t hold the surprises I wanted it to. I had just a couple of days before attended a four day intensive course and when I returned to my home, I received two devastating pieces of news … I shall not bore you with the detail and you know the saying, least said …
I got on with it, fight depression, life with the extra challenges, as you know I would, but they have really taken their toll on me.
I try day after day to improve my emotional well-being, I’m generally darn resourceful … usually. I have been experiencing extreme fatigue, yes I have chronic fatigue, but I generally battle through this, not this week … I’ve been longing for my bed and getting in it as early as 6.30pm, which although sounds blissful, it’s not a fabulous sleep, I fidget, dream, thrash and in the morning I don’t feel energised. In the morning, I struggle to get out of bed, I don’t want to stay there but I don’t want to face the day either.
I am lucky, my husband has been home for three days, so he’s kept on my case with the medication, chocolate, the S.A.D. Lamp and anything else he can think of to help. Today I called the Head Receptionist at the doctors’ surgery and was relieved to get an emergency appointment with a doctor I have seen a couple of times. Difficult as I had to go through majority of my medical history and why I take the medication and what I wanted the end result to be today.
Great fella; he listened attentively and we both agreed not to change my current medication whilst my own Doctor was away, but he thought it best I continue to take quitepine until I feel stable and in the right place to take myself off it. I don’t like to take this drug… it’s an anti-psychotic, but after taking it only for three days, although I don’t feel myself fully, at least I don’t feel like flying away!
All this has made me think, I have support mechanisms in place, Facebook Friends, Friends, family – well some of it, on the end of the phone, my husband, my daughter – even though she’s at university – she keeps tabs on me, my doctor, the receptionist; what if you are out there, struggling with none of these support mechanisms in place? Some of you are; come to Just Listening to You, we are here to put you in touch with the relevant services, but most importantly listen to you.Why have I written this? I want you to know I am not infallable, I like you have bad days too. Break the stigma, depression is an illness, talk about it, discuss it and make a difference to those who have it. “If you do befriend a person who is suffering from depression or anxiety, it will be one of the best things in life you will do!